Hello there, I am Jon, the Brit biker and sometime New York dweller who is a fully paid up member of the “You can’t wait to ride out of New York, but when you’re gone, you can’t wait to ride back!” club. So, Marc Rivera asked me to write something bike related, therefore I decided to write something memorable about riding and realised I have had some very memorable rides, but equally I have had some pretty memorable crashes too!
It helps that I can artificially enhance this article be the addition in the last few years of my experiences on the race tracks of England. For 6 years I have raced a very fast, very dangerous, motorcycle sidecar combination in the United Kingdom with varying degrees of success and varying partially-broken passengers as team mates, some of whom have managed to limp away to a more peaceful existence elsewhere.
When I owned a small motorcycle repair shop back in the U.K., I always told prospective riders that you will have an accident at some point, and it’s not just down to you out there. But sadly all of these accidents are infact, down to me! There is another shorter list of crashes that aren’t my fault that will have to wait. It’s also worth pointing out that only bones have been broken in the making of this list… So, like Julie Andrews in The Sound of Music; ‘let’s start at the very beginning…’
Motorcycle Crash 1
At 16 I was lent a cool purple Yamaha FSIE 50cc 2-stroke moped by a mate at school. It was 1978. If you had one of these it virtually guaranteed a snog behind the bike sheds! It was the first time that I had ever been in charge of an engine (apart from dad’s lawnmower) and unfortunately it didn’t go well… I rode it straight into and then up the big tree in our old front garden. I hadn’t backed off the throttle and grabbed the front brake with the throttle still open. Ouch! Welcome to Motorbiking! Funnily enough my mate never lent me his bike again after that.
Bones Broken: None.
Lesson Learnt: When you pull hard on the brake, even a 5hp bike will keep going unless you let go the loud pedal!
Motorcycle Crash 2
I got back into motorcycle riding in 2004 at an age when I should perhaps have known better. I was 42, but still strong and with good reflexes, yet my crashes had really only just started.. Crash No.2 was an inept experiment to see how fast I could hustle my newly-acquired and relatively humble 500cc Kawasaki commuter ER-5 though a corner which was dry and fast..the only thing is my tyres were still wet and slippery from earlier on the ride.
Bones Broken: None.
Lesson Learnt: In cold weather roads may dry, but tyre sidewalls may not…
Motorcycle Crash 3
This was my first crash on my beautiful yellow Ducati 900ss motorcycle. I adored that bike so much in fact, that when I found myself almost toppling it in a slow speed U-turn in the road, I literally threw myself under it to prevent its fairings being broken. Ouch!!The fairings survived, my shoulder on the other hand didn’t. It was badly misplaced, and so painful that riding the 50 miles home hurt horribly just from the wind hitting it at anything over 30mph, but I managed it
Bones Broken: None (Snapped tendons don’t count)
Lessons Learnt: Ducati’s have uselessly gargantuan turning circles, but they are so beautiful you can forgive them anything!
Motorcycle Crash 4
Second Ducati Crash. I was hustling along a country road and enjoying the British sunshine breaking through the trees, and the light and the shade hid a big unseen patch of the dreaded diesel spilt by a tractor right on the next bend, which I didn’t make.. not even close. When I dragged the bike back out of the bushes it was buried deeply into, I was able to give the fat farmer a piece of my mind, which maybe would have actually happened if I hadn’t missed a big tree I slid past on the way into the undergrowth.
Bones Broken: None.
Lessons Learnt: Watch for Diesel on bends. Remember: “Ducati’s and diesel don’t mix.” Neither does anything else.
Motorcycle Crash 5
Third Ducati Crash. So you get to take your bike on a track day on a race track but in a session just for road bikes – which is a great experience, and you think “hey I think I’m pretty good..Perhaps given the right breaks, I could maybe give Valentino Rossi a run for his money” The only thing is, he’s amazing, and you, well you didn’t think it mattered that the brake fluid hadn’t been changed in 4 years, so when the brakes failed because they got too hot and you nearly soiled yourself when you went straight on at a corner; you had only yourself to blame!
Bones Broken: None. (the advantage behind run-off areas at race tracks)
Lessons Learnt: When brake fluid goes the colour of the top of a Creme Brûlée, it’s time to change it…or your underwear…
Now, I can go on to the rest of the Top 10, but I don’t want you to think it’s all a bit doom and gloom. There were an awful lot more grins than grimaces and that’s the truth. So let me know if you want the 6-10 of Crashes and I will happily oblige. If not, we will leave it there. So Cheers friends and remember; try to keep it shiny side up!
– Jon Bicknell
